


Stealth Mission

by cadkitten



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Crime Fighting, Damian Wayne is Robin, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Hiccups, Stealth Mission, Urination, distraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 19:18:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7726579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick's a distracting nuisance, but at least a useful one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stealth Mission

**Author's Note:**

> For DynamicDuoWeek2016 over on tumblr. Day 2: We really need to be quiet but you’ve got the hiccups.  
> Beta Readers: kate1zena  
> Song[s]: "Outland" by Celldweller

_Hic_

Damian bristled at the noise that came from Dick's lips as he crouched low behind one of many shipping containers in the warehouse they'd just entered. Whatever the hell that was, he just hoped Dick didn't do it again. The scattering of at least twenty soldiers left them vulnerable as it was, as there was only so much they could do to keep themselves hidden. He straightened and flattened himself against the container, slowly edging toward the end to peer around it, keeping his breathing steady and low, fingers guiding him just the right amount away from the container so nothing bumped.

_Hic_

Dread shot through Damian as he jerked his head back toward Dick, who had the most agonized look on his face at the moment, cheeks puffed up a bit and Damian realized he had _the hiccups_. Of all the damn times.

Fuming a little, he hedged back toward the edge of the container, finally peering around, finding one guard precariously nearby. His gaze flicked around, seeing another three containers over, zipping up his pants as if he'd just taken a piss on the side of the damn container. Making a face, he gave the whole scene another good look and drew back behind the metal that kept him from being seen by any of the guards. He heard the whoosh of Dick's breath as he let it go and fought to not roll his eyes at the horrid timing of such a thing. How did one get the hiccups without drinking or eating something too quickly anyway? 

Damian's fingers slid away from the container and down to his belt, removing two weighted Batarangs. He positioned himself to prepare to take them down, planning out where best to hit them with the hockey-puck-like weapons he held in his hand. He eased back toward the edge and gestured to Dick that there were two and to keep his eyes behind them and to their left. Stepping out from behind the container, Damian lifted his hand and-

_Hic_

"What the-" The guard who'd been zipping up whirled around and Damian cursed up a storm in his head, letting the Batarangs fly and drawing his sword in nearly the same movement. He went down low as one of them fired toward him, came up swinging as a third guard barreled down the aisle toward him. The flat of his blade slapped against the man's nose and blood gushed. The man let out what could only be described as an angry-sounding honk right before Dick dropped down from the top of the container, his elbow driving into the man's shoulder. He went down hard and Dick landed neatly, kneeling behind him.

_Hic_

Damian bit back a growl and whirled around at the sound of rushed footsteps. Two more guards appeared and Damian yanked his flashlight from his belt, turning the powerful LEDs on right in one man's face as he sheathed his sword. A knee to the back and a hand to his mouth, he cracked the guard's wrist and caught the gun before it hit the floor. The other dropped and Damian stalked past Dick, smacking him soundly up the back of the head. After all, he'd heard _scaring_ someone cured hiccups.

Dick darted off down one of the aisles and Damian rounded the corner the other direction, hearing Dick fighting someone, despite it being a very quiet sort of fight. He stepped out and applied pressure in just the right place along the man's neck, watching him go down hard, neatly stepping out of the way of the crumpling body. 

Around another container and right behind him, the infuriating sound again. _Hic_ \- this one followed by a strangled sort of half-gag.

Damian whirled on Dick, his sword out in a half second as he slammed him back against the wall to their side, blade to his throat as he glowered at him, fighting the urge to curse him and whoever else in his lineage that ever dared to get hiccups in a situation like this. He'd _learned_ things with the Teen Titans, things no one else knew he'd picked up. 

Dick just held up his hands and gave him the most dejected look before Damian let him go, huffed, and made a running leap for the staircase. Four steps up, he neatly landed and darted up the remaining five and onto the catwalk, hoping Dick wouldn't follow. Let him be a distraction and cover his own back. 

He zigzagged over the grid of intersecting sections of catwalk, finally reaching the piece just above the main office. He dropped down silently beside the door, listened for a moment, and then slapped the cryptolock decoder on the keypad. The numbers began to flash and settle, one at a time, and Damian kept himself in the shadows for the duration. It finally clicked open and Damian wrenched the device off, stowed it back in his belt, and pushed the door open, flattening against the wall to see if anyone came out.

A chair rolled somewhere inside and a woman's voice called, "Hello?"

Damian made a face and waited a moment more for the footsteps to come to the door before he brought his elbow up into her face, the crunch of glasses telling him he'd hit the mark pretty much dead-on. She started to fall and the caught her so she didn't hit the metal table, easing her to the ground just behind the door. A quick check of her pulse since she'd went down so easy and he closed the door most of the way before ducking under the desk, glad their intel had been right as he found the false side to the desk. Peeling it back, he pulled out a small pouch and tilted the tray, letting all the small green gems fall into the lead-lined pouch. He snapped it shut and pushed the false side back into place, darting across the room and pulling open the safe door that had been left ajar. A perfect cover if there ever was one.

He eased the money from the metal box and tucked it into his belt, rushing from the room and vaulting over the railing, landing a few feet from where Dick was taking down two men, one of them drawing his radio as Dick was distracted by the other. Damian slammed his hand into the man's neck, the radio went to the ground and he brought his boot down hard on it. 

The guy Dick was dealing with hit the side of the shipping container and Dick stared helplessly at Damian for a moment, frustration written all over him as he let out another, very decisive _Hic_.

Damian shook his head and then took off running for the door, Dick on his heels. They slipped out into the night and darted off across the parking lot. 

Once they settled astride Dick's bike, helmets firmly on, Damian activated the comm and let himself give an exasperated sigh. "Of _all_ the times-"

"It's _not_ my fault!" Dick took a turn a bit harshly and Damian clung to him. 

"-tt-," Damian let the sound speak for all of the words he wanted to spit out at Grayson that his mind simply wouldn't allow him to, settling for holding on as he listened to the steady sound of Dick's breathing interspersed with quiet little _Hic_ s every once in a while. "You know... if you put your tongue all the way to the back of your mouth, pressed against the roof of it, it'll stop."

He could hear the change in Dick's breathing as he tried it and the next few minutes were blessedly silent. Pulling into Dick's garage, Damian slid off the bike, ditching the helmet and peeling off his mask, tossing it onto the table before dumping the small bag onto the table. "Got the Kryptonite gems. Intel was right on the money."

Dick picked up the bag, opened it and peered in. He shut it and pressed his palm to the table, a light hiss sounding as a chunk of it slid upward. Dumping the bag into it, Dick pushed it back down and then slid up onto the table. "Why - exactly - did you not tell me how to stop it before?"

Damian shrugged, reaching to take off his cape, letting the black and gold material pool on the floor at his feet. "You were a good distraction."

Dick snorted. "Yeah, thanks, Dames. Good plan, that." Hopping down, Dick made a beeline toward the privacy screens in the back. "I'll remember that next time you have something you can't change happen to you."

Damian rolled his eyes, starting to unhook the rest of his costume. Some things changed, some things did not, and apparently _brotherly love_ meant badgering one another despite the circumstances, no matter how old they got. He let the barest hint of a smile touch his lips as he gathered up his things to put them away. Mission _accomplished_.


End file.
